Ayahuasca and Me

The call towards wholeness did not reside in the teaching of the plants: It resided in the deepest parts of my own being.

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In September of 2017 I took the trip of a spiritual lifetime. I am curious about human consciousness, a researcher into alternative history, an outspoken performer, a speaker and writer in the arts world. My life has taken me on many adventures, especially since I started traveling internationally in 2013. As a Medical Laboratory Technologist I also have a biological curiosity.

This trip was the cherry on top of my travels so far. The reward for all the hard work I had done and the understanding I had gained regarding who we are and why we are all here.

I follow a teacher named Tobias Lars. He shares his wisdom online with videos as well as in workshops, travel retreats and courses. I have his book ‘Listening to the Sun‘ kindle version available. I also use his Inner Body Awakening Meditation. The company Spiritual Travelers is another one of his exciting endeavors. Through his Ayahuasca retreats I found the perfect place to experience Ayahuasca, the Mother of all ancient plant medicine, at The Source.

Hidden within the mysterious and ancient Sacred Valley in Peru and quite close to famous Machu Picchu, is the fabulous retreat called The Source. They call it the edge of Luxury and indeed it is. Created and constructed by the unnamed ‘owner’ this is a majestic and magical location. Perfect for escaping from the outside world of negativity and stress. Not only beautiful but consciously constructed by the promptings of Ayahuasca herself.

See the beautiful ladies washroom here ! See my room here.

I arrived with 10 others from around the world for 6 days of soul exploration. A couple from Australia, a man from Denmark, two ladies from Sweden, a mother and son from Romania, 3 women from America and myself, the lone Canadian. As these things usually reveal them selves to be, each of us was called to do ceremony at this site, and each of us were perfect for each others learning.

Hear the local music from my balcony wrapped in jasmine here. See my Facebook album here for images.

The one month to two week preparation in diet and lifestyle, was essential for a most enjoyable experience. Though ‘Aya’ is known as The Purge, if one prepares well enough that aspect of the experience is less bothersome. In this regard I had quit coffee, dairy, meat, dried fruit, fermented foods and was very conscious of not taking any medication unless needed. Also using less chemicals in my personal hygiene as well as keeping off the computer and using less media all round. I started to do some yoga, meditate daily, write in my journal and avoid any recreational drugs or alcohol.

It is very important to avoid pork and dried or bruised fruit, as these food create a chemical compound that does not mix well with Aya and can cause serious health problems. Needless to say once one commits to the diet and lifestyle changes, the ceremony has begun.

Because I am a Celiac Sprue my ability to restrict myself was not as hard as it was for others. One person who chose not to quit meat for example was always quite sick during ceremony and could not stop throwing up for hours.

So why even put one’s self through all this ? To me the answer was curiosity. Again my need to research, my need to know, my desire to understand my consciousness, set me on this journey. I had known about DMT or dimethyltryptamine for many years. Those who study hallucinogens or partake in their use will be familiar with the substance. This is also known as The Spirit Molecule and is actually produced naturally in our bodies by our pineal gland when we dream and when we die.

Is it safe ?

“The exact toxic profile of DMT is unknown, but studies in rodents suggest that a lethal dose in humans would be extremely high; more than 20 times the typical dose given during an ayahuasca ceremony.”

“A group of experienced DMT users were asked to rate its safety, with 55% reporting it to be “very safe” and 38% “quite safe”.[4] The main risks they reported were a “bad trip” (51%), which is considerably higher than the risk of bad experiences with the other classic psychedelics, LSD and psilocybin.”

The week consisted of four Aya ceremonies one day off and one day of Wachuma or San Pedro Cactus drink and the Andean Sweat Lodge. This drink, which we helped prepare the day prior, was taken in the afternoon. It made us quite chatty and it was wonderful to wander the gardens and sense the natural beauty all around us. The active ingredient in San Pedro cactus is mescaline.

Of course the first night of Ayahuasca, I had no idea what to expect. I knew I would throw up, I knew I would have a bowel purge, but that was about it. Little did I know the wisdom and insights that would be revealed to me by weeks end.

Each morning we had the option of a movement class and an afternoon mandatory debriefing session with our Shaman Aminta. She was the spiritual conductor of the ceremony who guided the music being created and the timing of the night. She also took care to make certain we were all breathing and safe and cared for along with Beth and Ritchie and another local Healer who sang wonderful traditional songs that I seemed to know.

We were told to use our breath to flow, use the music as an anchor and use our gratitude as a rope to guide us through the adventure. We also were asked to remember no matter how weird it got, it would eventually end. All great advice.

The Temple where the Aya ceremonies occur is a beautiful round building. Since electronics were not allowed inside I respectfully did not take any pictures myself. These are shots I found on the website .

The ceiling is glass and it was most wonderful to look up at the southern hemisphere stars towards the end of the ceremonies. Being able to see the milky way while walking back to our rooms afterwards was also quite amazing.

Ceremonies last anywhere from 6 to 8 hours and started at 6:30pm. We each had a nice bed to lay in and a beautiful washroom to visit when needed. There were personal purge buckets that were emptied by staff as soon as we used them.

Everything is well coordinated and thought out to ensure you have a most pleasant, beautiful and safe experience. The staff is top notch and well experienced. The food is high frequency, grown onsite and prepared with your health at heart. If YOU are called, The Source is where you want to go to experience Ayahuasca.

What happens ?

Anecdotal reports suggest that greater self-awareness and spiritual connection to the world can be gained from properly using DMT. Just as ayahuasca ceremonies can provide new perspective on inner emotional realities to people with mental and addictive disorders, DMT can be used to achieve new perspective in one’s spiritual life.

Many report that DMT gives them a connection to unconscious parts of their mind, allowing them to see any issues and mental blocks they’ve been experiencing from a new vantage point. People often report a sense of detachment from their emotions and how they identify with them as well.

So what did I experience ?

After a few Hail Mary’s and an ongoing mantra I use “I love and Approve of Myself, I am Safe.” it was my turn to down the brew. It is made from boiling the Vine containing the active DMT and leaves which allow your body to access the medicine. My impression was that it tasted like black licorice. Others thought it was bad tasting. It is very individual.

The effects start with many colours and I noticed as I lay with my eyes shut that these were the textile patterns seen in South America. Then I was drawn into what I can only call ‘scenes’. They were from my life and they drew me into intellectual dilemmas. Scenes of conversations, arguments or just trying to get ones point across.

I noticed Aya “tagging” words in these scenes and then I was able to stop them and using my breath blow them away. I walked down the middle of these scenes for some time. The words she tagged were words like FAULT, BAD, WRONG, ERROR, MISTAKE. I understood they were not real, not valid. Things just ARE. There can be no judgement on them.

Now it is very hard to explain my experiences to you in words. The profound meaning is very personal and individual. Your ‘trip’ would not be the same as mine. Each time you do it and each person who does it has different experiences.

During the first and second ceremony there were many entities who came to stand beside me with their hands up as if to give me an energy treatments, as well as those who ‘ate’ impurities from my subtle bodies. I was aware of my C-section scar and had help doing more healing needed from that traumatic event 23 years ago, in which I almost bled out.

I was also shown my maternal bloodline and how each member saw each other. The things handed down so to speak could be healed and sent back through time or not. I had the option. I got a strict warning about WI FI and how it hurts me.

Aya also showed me a type of butterfly. It seemed odd, like it had sort of bat wings. Maybe it was from another planet ? Anyway it only lived for 5 beats of its own wings. Once it died I saw the consciousness leave it and turn into a sort of angel. A voice said “Look! Even for this life I am curious to experience”.

Later in ceremony 3 and 4, I became a giant cobra and also a long fanged dragon. I found this very fun.

Mother Aya also showed me the word KNOWING. Then it morphed in to NO ING, then to NOW. My understanding at this point is that we can never truly know anything, but we can always be in the NOW. For someone like me whose first words were ‘I’m Curious!’, it was confirmation of my spiritual research. There is only NOW. Time is an artifact of consciousness and does not really exist.

The call towards wholeness did not reside in the teaching of the plants: It resided in the deepest parts of my own being.

There is much more however it is not to be put into words. My understanding is that I am actually doing very well in my life. I have come through some challenges and have done so with grace. Needless to say it was well worth it. I am planning to go back in a few years and do it again. The Source is a true safe space where those who have experience and ability can guide you to dance with this special ancient medicine.

If you are called please consider going. At this time of planetary healing we can all contribute to the general raising of human consciousness.

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